If Only I Could.....

很遺憾，我走不開。
不然，我一定像上次那樣，無論如何也要飛奔回家。

雖然我和你的爸爸一點都不熟悉，可是身為你的好友，從小認識到大的好友，我能為你做的，我一定會盡力而為。

你知道嗎，瑋勝這個好兄弟可真是沒話說！
就算身邊的工作再怎么忙，都飛奔回去，就為了代替你盡一份孝心。

我現在，覺得自己很沒用。
只能坐在這里窮緊張，窮傷心，什么也做不了。
我真的真的希望我可以回去，就算出那么一點點的力也好，坐在那邊無聊也罷。
我真的很希望可以出席你爸爸的葬禮。

你不在了，身為你好友的我們，總該為你做些什么。好讓您在天堂也過得好一點。
我們都知道，You are watching over us.... Always....
DO you know how much we miss you... dear Tian Leng?

是你太想念你爸爸嗎？還是你爸爸太想念你？放不下你？

到現在，除了聽到這個噩耗，我什么也不知道。
是不是因為生病？瑋勝也沒辦法回答我的問題。
就連和你一起游泳到大，兩家人很親的Allan也不知道。
我只能等………… 我怕瑋勝會很忙，所以不敢打電話給他，怕我會煩到他。

我現在，站也不是，坐也不是。

還開始胡思亂想了起來……………

不是生病的話，那是什么原因你爸爸會選擇離開？
是真的放不下你嗎？
一個無病無痛的人，好好的，為什么會突然離開呢？
你能給我一點暗示嗎？
可以在我夢里出現嗎？
我這個要求，并不是很難做到，是嗎？
可不可以回答我的問題？

這一次，就和上次一樣，通知朋友們。
不同的是，我這次很冷靜；通知的人，也沒那么多。
為什么，我總是做通知的那個人。
那種感覺，真的很難定。
不懂我的人，還以為是我八卦。

Anyway, this is what I can do for you when you are not around.
I'm one of the 'Your Link' to the other group of friends. I have to take good care over myself, so that I could help you to spread your news to them from time to time.
Dear Tian Leng, I wish and I hope... The coming news that I am going to spread about you, is a good one instead.
Please, don't let us spread the bad news anymore. I don't think there's anyone can stand it.

Especially Wai Seng, I think I could somehow felt the pain and helpless feeling in his heart. He has did the best he could, JUST FOR YOU.... Tian Leng.
I knew you would look over him up there, please bless him, will you?
As a reward or a present for him, would you?

You meant a lot to all of your friends. Every single one!
The day when you were gone, all your close friends were there.
Some of them I've known for years, they seems so tough, so strong, so immature and always playing fool around. They do not look like they would drop a tear for anything. EVER!
But on your day, I saw them crying.
I saw Wai Seng's crying, Yong Tien's crying, Aik Sam's crying, Thiru's crying, Narish's crying, Khang Seng's crying.... Everyone's crying.

After you were gone, their bond seems to get better. They seems to appreciate their life better.
You've brought a huge message to them. You've awaken them.
Some of them, are trying to do their best just for you.
To keep the memories of them with you.
Everyone who left a message in the blog that specially created for you, they seems like they scared they will forgot what had happened between you and them. They chose words, to written down all the stories, all the funny things that you always did.
Your every single smile, laughters you bring.... everything and everything.

We really miss you a lot.
Why you never bless your father stay healthy? How could you let your mum go through all these sorrow?
Are you trying to bring some hint to us?

I can't get it..... I really can't.

昨天晚上，躺在床上時，我的眼淚不知不覺的又流了出來。
我覺得很可惜，也很不解。到底是怎么一回事？